Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Blog 8: Personal Essay

Nickayla Brooks
Ms. MaryKatherine Ramsey
English 110.01
Personal Essay
24 May 2011
                                                        The day I almost lost
It was a Friday night on New Year’s Eve 2010 when I thought I lost my brother to a gunshot wound. I hadn’t been able to celebrate a new year since I had my son. That day I was so excited to go out I went to buy a new outfit and everything. I knew that on New Year people like to get drunk and do stupid things. My older brother and I are really close so I always ask him where he is going out to and who with. That night for some reason I did not ask him. It was probably because I was excited to go somewhere myself.
My brother’s name is Cordell Brooks and we are only two years apart. Ever since we’ve grown up everyone has always told us we should have been twins. We look so much alike and we also act so much alike.  Cordell and I both are also so protective of each other. I love him so much I could never imagine losing him.
The night had come and I went out with my friend Vontierra to a club not too far from where I stayed. I ended up wearing a skirt and some heels so it’s not something that I wanted to do much walking in. Once we arrived at the club it was my brother Cordell told me he does not want me to go there because there is always some kind of trouble started. I figured he doesn’t want me to go out because he always goes to thas particular club so I actually thought he would be there. So of course I did not listen and ended up going to the club anyways, and he ended up not being there.
At first when my friend and I got to the club we didn’t really like it because it was a little rowdy but we stayed anyways. We stayed because the other teenage club was all the way in Akron which is twenty minutes away and we did not feel like driving that far. After a while we started to warm up a bit and started to see people that we actually knew. We then got up, started to mingle, dance, and just started to have a good time. At this club you are not able to leave the club and re-enter unless you talk to one of the bouncers. My mother kept calling me that night, but I just figured she wanted to be nosey and see what I was doing so I did not answer. I couldn’t answer anyways because it was way too loud in there. She then got to texting me asking if I was having a good time and if I am ready to come home because she was. She also went out to a grown folks bar that night and since my mother is so anti-social she ended up texting me a little after she got there saying she was ready to go because it was boring. I texted her back saying I was not ready to go and told her she shouldn’t have went out. She didn’t even go with anybody but herself.
I ended up texting my brother to see if he was having a good time and where he was at, but he never texted me back. My mother then called me again and I actually ran to the restroom to answer and she told me to go somewhere quiet because something had happened. At that point I was having too much of a good time, and I didn’t think it was anything that serious. I ended up going by the door where you could barely hear the music and she told me that Sierra (My oldest brother’s baby mom) called and told her that someone just told Sierra that Cordell had been shot in the head. My mom was panicking, saying she had been trying to call him over and over and he is not answering. I didn’t even know what to say or do. I just automatically thought he was dead and I just stood there in shock.
 My friend came over to me and asked what was wrong and I told her that I had to leave and I just stormed out of the club. She left with me because she drove us there, but I took her keys and started to drive. As I was driving I called my mother back and she was crying hysterically on the phone asking god why this is happening. I then started to cry, but also yelled at my mother at the same time telling her she didn’t know for sure. I had to be strong in case it really happened.
      She told me where they said the shooting had happened. We drove to the scene and no one was there. She then yelled out the window to some bystander asking did a shooting take place. The lady answered “ yes it did”, and that the ambulance had came and picked the person up already. This made us believe that it really did happen to my brother because it was in a neighborhood that my brother goes to all the time to hang. We then decided to go to all of the nearby hospitals to see if he was there, and it was then funny because he wasn’t at either.
It then became my responsibility to get a hold of his closest friends that I knew he hung with to see is they were with any of them. I told my mother that he was probably somewhere drunk and passed out because it was New Year’s Eve, but she said how weird is it that we hear something like this and he wasn’t answering his phone when he always do. At that time I was no longer friends with my best friend, but I knew her sister use to date my brothers best friend so I had to set my pride aside and call her. I then got her sisters number and told her sister what we had heard and asked to give me a number. She gave me two different numbers and no one answered either numbers.
I didn’t know what else to do but sit there and think if it was true then how would my life be different there on out. I then started to cry and wait for someone to call me or my mother. I then decided to head home with my mother to keep her company when my phone rang. It was my brother’s friend and I told him what we heard and asked where my brother was. He said he heard the exact same thing and it had him going crazy because he was not with him, but he also said that he just got off the phone with their other friend who is with my brother. That person said they were in Akron and that my brother is there drinking and kicking it. I felt the most relief in my life and the happiest. It made me want to celebrate even more. I called my mother and told her the information I had received and she was also relived. She actually started to laugh a little because I had told her that he was probably somewhere drunk and she didn’t believe me, so come to find out I was right all along. I know my brother so well. The crazy part about everything is that the guy who really got shot is named Cordero Bush, so his name is similar to my brother and had the same nickname (C.B.).   
After that, my friend and I decided to go back to the club we came from. We talked to the bouncers and they let us back in. They knew we were in there before because we had crosses on our hand. I couldn’t wait until my brother came home the next morning so I could tell him about himself. Still until this day we talk about it and laugh. I will always know how it feels to know that a brother or sister had just died and it is the worst feeling in life. I could not imagine my life without him or any of my brothers for that matter. It makes me want to cherish every moment we have together now because you never know what will happen.     
                               

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